[This one was barely even a draft. I had the words written, but not formatted and I hadn’t even assigned characters to the dialogue. It is a simple dialogue between a CUSTOMER and a COIN DEALER. I was probably inspired by Kids in the Hall for this one. Enjoy!]
Can I help you?
I would like to pawn some items.
What do you got?
I have a quarter with the California emblem on the back.
Is that it?
Is that it?! It just came out. Everyone wants one and they’re tough to come by.
Lemme see.
(Takes coin, studies it.)
I’ll give you 25 cents for it.
(thinks) Okay. Deal.
(The dealer pays him with another quarter.)
What else you got?
(looks at quarter he just received) I also happen to have a Delaware quarter.
Big deal. Everyone has those. They’ve been out for years.
Delaware is the first state. Very historic.
Lemme see it. (grabs it; studies it) Fine. I’ll give you 25 cents for it.
(They swap back the quarters.)
Anything else or are you done?
(Customer looks secretively at the coin in his hand.)
I have a second California quarter.
A second one?! You conned me. I thought you said there aren’t many in circulation. These things are all over the place.
It can’t hurt to have more than one.
I’m gonna have to section off part of the store just to display all these California quarters.
If California secedes from the union, these’ll be more valuable.
(considers) Fine, but I’m only giving you 3 nickels for it.
Seven.
Four.
Six.
Five.
Deal!
(They exchange currency again.)
Any more currency to hock?
No, but I do have this.
(The customer reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pawn.)
Like I’m lacking for pawns. This IS a pawn shop.
Sorry.
(disgusted) Honestly.
Good day.
(Customer turns to walk away.)
Good day.
(He stops, turns back.)
Oh, and I have this paper weight.
(He drops a gold bar on his desk. The clerk examines it.)
You bring me some paper money and I’ll take that off your hands for free.